A long time ago, I was accosted in the street by a missionary.

Dressed in Orange robes, he was easily identifiable as a follower of Krishna.
He handed me a hardback book about his faith. Out of habit (I was a student) I asked him "how much?". When he told me it was free I handed it back. I was in no mood to acquire a new faith, I was already behind with my course, adding religion would only have stolen more time from me.

There was also a twinge of guilt. Accepting this book and never reading it would have been an affront to my inner librarian, and also a waste of his printing costs.
(I have an inner librarian called Julian, like a voice of reason. He's constantly saying "Shh!" and chastising me for anything I do which isn't reverential to books. For example, when I see someone
turn down a page corner to mark their place, Julian gasps in horror. It was down to his influence that I was one of the student librarians at High School. He created himself after I left a library book in the rain at the age of 9 and had to buy it. I still have the book.)

I told him as much, and, unfazed by my polite refusal, he handed me a much smaller paperback. I felt bad for refusing his first offer, so I reluctantly accepted this one, and slung it into my holdall.

Skip forward a few weeks, and I find it nestled next to the 3 week old carton of goats milk.
(I was suspected of being allergic to cow's milk when I started college, so for the first year I was supplied with a free pint of goat's milk each day. Unfortunately it was supplied to the halls of residence canteen in bulk, so every morning I would be issued with a frozen block of goats milk. This would be unusable until lunchtime, so I used to pop it in my holdall till then. Of course, my memory being what it was (as I fail to recall), I once forgot it was there. For 3 weeks. I noticed a faint "off" sort of smell for a day or two, and then realised with horror that it was from the unopened carton in the side pocket. I headed for the nearest bathroom, whereupon I gingerly removed the bulging carton and emptied the stinky fluorescent green contents away. I never knew milk, even goats milk, could turn that colour. If I wasn't nauseated so much, I might have tried it again...)

It turns out that this book would have cost more than the other from a shop, so I decided I ought to read it. It was entitled "Travel to other Planets!", and eventually I ascertained it was referring to astral projection.

Astral projection is one of those ideas that really appeals. The ability to go somewhere without getting on a plane, or in a car. No pollution, no stress. If only it actually worked!

Imagine offices full of executives sat cross-legged while they have meetings on the other side of the world. Imagine NASA's interplanetary explorations, with one team setting foot on the new frontier while another team in Florida is also there to observe and advise. Imagine a top surgeon guiding the hand of someone thousands of miles away, saving life after life.

I know where I'd be right now, and I'm not telling...